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 »  Home  »  Generating Comfort  »  Comfort Builders
Comfort Builders
By sailing addict | Published  12/31/2006 | Generating Comfort | Rating:
sailing addict
Although sailingaddict doesn't have many posts to his name, he has been in the community since 2002, watching and learning.  It's been a while since we've heard anything from him, but you can read his brief yet informative posts here.  
View all articles by sailing addict

Some rough ideas for building comfort...

1. Point out your own vulnerabilities, like “I am a total idiot when it comes to reading maps. If it weren’t for Yahoo directions, I wouldn’t be able to make it to Starbucks across the street.”

2. Talk about how hard it is to find somebody you can trust. “But when you do find a person like that, it opens a whole world of possibilities for both of you. How do I tell that I can trust someone I’ve just met? I imagine a time in the future, and if I can imagine still trusting that person, I know I can trust them now. I do this test all the time, and it never fails. Many times, years later you’ll look back at the time when you’ve first met, and realize how genuine your feeling of trust was, and how fortunate you were to carry it through the years.” A lot of times when you say how hard it is to find someone you can trust, she’ll go “You can trust ME!!!”

3. Bust on her. What a paradox of life. 4. Make it seem you’re looking out for her: “You know, the roads are pretty slippery tonight, why don’t we postpone the dinner at my place, and talk on the phone instead.” She’ll be twice as eager to drive to your place that very minute. 5. If she is really reserved (especially if she is a younger chick), keep talking and talking, make her feel that she doesn’t have to contribute anything to the conversation. Many times she’ll get comfortable eventually, and will start to open up.

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