Some rough ideas for building comfort...
1. Point
out your own vulnerabilities, like “I am a total idiot when it comes to reading
maps. If it weren’t for Yahoo directions, I wouldn’t be able to make it to
Starbucks across the street.”
2. Talk about how hard it is to find somebody you
can trust. “But when you do find a person like that, it opens a whole world of
possibilities for both of you. How do I tell that I can trust someone I’ve just
met? I imagine a time in the future, and if I can imagine still trusting that
person, I know I can trust them now. I do this test all the time, and it never
fails. Many times, years later you’ll look back at the time when you’ve first
met, and realize how genuine your feeling of trust was, and how fortunate you
were to carry it through the years.” A lot of times when you say how hard it is
to find someone you can trust, she’ll go “You can trust ME!!!”
3. Bust on her.
What a paradox of life. 4. Make it seem you’re looking out for her: “You know,
the roads are pretty slippery tonight, why don’t we postpone the dinner at my
place, and talk on the phone instead.” She’ll be twice as eager to drive to your
place that very minute. 5. If she is really reserved (especially if she is a
younger chick), keep talking and talking, make her feel that she doesn’t have to
contribute anything to the conversation. Many times she’ll get comfortable
eventually, and will start to open up.