Sometimes it's hard to keep the ladies from loving you TOO much. From falling head over heels and wanting something deeper than you're looking for. The trick to avoiding this trap - without losing a good fun partner - is to not activate the TRIGGERS which lead to the deeper emotional bonds of relationships. Once triggered, it's hard to stop, especially without hurting someone. So steer clear.

A Good Problem

As you get better and better at picking up women, you're going to encounter a new problem.

It's a high-quality problem, and for many men they'd give their left nut for such a problem, but it's still a problem.

What do you do when a woman wants a relationship, and you don't?

Yeah, I know what you're thinking; if only I could have such problems. But as you get better at seducing ladies, this problem gets worse and worse - because it's an inverse deal. The smoother, the more relaxed and confident you are, the more women will be attracted to you.

And the more time those women will want to spend with you.

So what's a guy who's enjoying the FIELD for the first time to do when some of his favorite ladies start pushing for exclusivity or, at the least, more of your time that you'd rather spend playing around?

The key to this is, DON'T LET IT HAPPEN.

Things that work. in a schmuck way

Now you could keep this from coming about by turning yourself into an insecure clingy wuss. But that's bad programming, even if you're just playing, and it precludes the chance of having anymore fun with the woman once you've driven her away.

You could turn into the ultimate ass hole and drive her away with such means. Thing is, no one really wants to be an ass hole, and the f**k and flight thing not only is a negative experience for both parties, but it ALSO will stop you from seeing the girl again.

Remember, you want to leave every woman better than you found her, and being an abusive jerk is NOT the way to do it.

Besides, it can backfire; every once in a while you'll find a neurotic woman who just gets MORE attached the more you abuse her. This is EXTREMELY damaging for her, tends to bring out your own worst traits, and selects for you women that are not the kind of high-quality, stable ladies you want in your life.

So what's a mac daddy to do?

The answer is actually much simpler than you'd think.

Establish Parameters

First, make sure you make plain the ground rules going IN. These can be whatever you want them to be. You can say you're just looking for a little fun, or you don't want anything deeply emotional, you don't want anything exclusive, or you just want to search and experiment for a bit. Or that you want to wait until you're SURE you've found the right woman. Or you're only interested in orgies.

Whatever, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the ground rules come from YOU, in a confident relaxed way, and that you're self-assured enough that you WON'T change just because she wants you to. Yeah, you enjoy your time together, and you WANT to spend that time together, but you don't NEED to. If she cramps your style, you're perfectly fine leaving for greener pastures.

She needs to know it, and more importantly, YOU need to be ready to FOLLOW THROUGH if you get to a point where she's not satisfied with anything less than a deeper relationship. As long as you're confident in yourself and your beliefs AND you've created a strong attraction, she'll accept your reality and go along with it. Simple as that.

Control Your Contact

HOWEVER, this still needs maintenance over the course of a relationship. And that's starts with CONTACT.

Let me explain: if you meet a girl, like each other, and you talk and go out, cool.

If you talk on the phone once a week, and see each other once a week or every other week, awesome.

If you talk a couple times a week and see each other once a week, cool.

If you talk five or six times a week and see each other three or four times a week. you're in trouble.

She may know the rules, she may agree with them and they might even mesh with her own goals, but once you start seeing someone often, all those rules go right out the window.

Once you are seeing or contacting someone that often, you flip an emotional switch. The rules are purely intellectual, but once you get that emotional attachment in action, there's no amount of thinking that'll make it go away.

She might fight it - fight it to the point of being miserable about it - but eventually it WILL spring forth. And then you're in a bad spot.

Luckily, if you've SET the rules out well, you can break it off at that point with the minimum of heartache. But once you've gotten this far, the hearts involved WILL ache.

Watch for the Warning Signs, and ACT FAST

Exacerbating the situation is the fact that all this cool non-clingy attitude can cause her to become MORE clingy, as she feels the distance is greater than she'd like.

If she starts down that clingy road, you need to clip it early - either let her go, or increase the space and the length of time between meetings and conversations.

Avoid going too deep

Speaking of conversations, keeping them relatively short and practical is ALWAYS better for stopping those relationship tendencies from developing. Three five or ten minute chats confirming plans and organizing events is better than one three hour dialogue which ranges from her fear of snakes to your younger brother's first razor burn.

If she starts to talk with you too much about FEELINGS, you should try to stop that. The more you get into emotions, the more emotional she'll become about you (not to mention most emotional talk tends to be negative, thus associating you with negative energies).

If she's complaining about some problem she has with her family or an ex, listen for a bit, sure - don't be rude - but when she stops for a breath, say something like "It's obvious this is bothering you a lot. But when you're with me, I want you to have fun - that's what our time is about. So now, I want you to shrink your ex and all your feelings about him down into this napkin. Now, crush the napkin and throw it behind your back. He's gone. He's out of your mind. Feel better? Good. Let's grab a bite."

It's important to not be dismissive, but you don't want to get stuck in deep emotional conversations too often. That's what her girlfriends are for - and often her boyfriend. If you're not looking for that sort of committed relationship, don't let the path start up.

Derek Vitalio