After years of helping men becoming more successful with dating, I have noticed a common trend with guys who “suck” at the dating game: They usually have what I call the “Anti-Player Syndrome”.

These guys are guys who try very hard to let women see that they are not players.

They do things such as:

1) Complimenting and sucking up to women

2) Buying women drinks, gifts, and dinners.

3) Saying “sorry” whenever a woman gets mad.

4) Criticizing the players and “jerks” whenever they can.

5) Getting jealous of men who are more successful with women than they are.

6) Acting like a “nice” guy.

However, they don't do these things just for the sake of doing them. They do it to PROVE that they are NOT players. They think that by acting the “opposites” of players, women will see their “long-term potential” and fall in love with them.

Whenever I talk to these guys, they always tell me things such as, “Yeah…I want women to know that I AM a good guy for them. I don't want to think that I am like all the jerks she has dated in the past.”

This is a HUGE mistake.

When it comes to attraction, women don't really care if you're a “player” or not.

All they care about is how you can make them feel - both romantically and sexually. They don't care if you're “nice” or not - unless they are ALREADY attracted to you. All they care about is what kind of feelings you can give them.

The truth is, a woman could smell a player in a minute and avoid him if she REALLY wanted to. However, many women DO enjoy what they think is “harmless flirting”. They want to talk to someone who can give them the kind of intense feelings they crave.

When a woman sees a player she LIKES, she doesn't see him as a player, but rather, as a man who just happens to be good with women. Someone who excites her. (Of course, if a woman does not like him, then she will trash him for being a player.)

So goes this mean that you should become a player?

No.

Actually, what I want you to do is to stop worrying about what kind of man women think you are. Don't worry about whether you're being too much or too little of a player. Instead, focus on doing things that excite women, such as flirting, teasing, and acting like a challenge.

THAT'S what REALLY matters to women. When you can give women the kind of feelings they WANT, they are not going to think about whether you're a “player” or a “nice guy”. All they'll think about is how GREAT you are and how much they enjoy going out with you.