Picture this: you are out, say at a grocery store, and a beautiful
woman walks down your aisle. I mean a stunner. The kind of woman who
inspires sonnets and starts wars.
And she doesn't notice you. She's just shopping.
You
stand there, stunned, scanning your mind for some way to talk to her.
You run through all the ways it won't work, how she'll think you're a
jerk unless you can say just the perfect thing, but you CAN'T THINK
because you're so scared of SCREWING IT UP. You want to do something
but you're FROZEN.
And then she's gone. All you got was a clean-up call on aisle 3 so no one slips in your drool.
Sound familiar? It should. It's happened to EVERYONE at one time or another. Even to me.
The
fact that it's happened shouldn't embarrass you. But if you keep
LETTING it happen, day after day, then you need to do something
different. Because that ain't gonna cut it.
Listen,
those ladies have very active social lives. And guess what? They met
everyone - including their various boyfriends - as a stranger. Ok,
sure, your buddy Lucky is dating a 10 that his sister introduced him
to. Goody for him.
You can't count on that. Women that are sought-after don't fall into
your lap. If you don't get proactive, you have ZERO chance of ever
being with someone like that. And if you've got an ADVANCED case of
wussy-boy lockjaw, you won't be able to meet ANYONE worth meeting
regularly.
You'll have to get used to your only best friend, your hand.
Let
me tell you something interesting; most women are approached by men all
the time, but many of the MOST beautiful women are LEFT ALONE. That's
right, guys are so intimidated by them they class themselves out the
competition before it even begins. The 10s in the world are sometimes
the loneliest ladies on the planet. They are dying for someone to say
something interesting to them.
And you're
going to deny them? Because you're scared of negative scenarios you
thought up that are A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE than any real encounter
between real people? How selfish.
The truth is most women will NOT think you are a jerk just for
talking to them. They might not be available to talk - maybe they are
in a hurry, maybe they have a jealous boyfriend, maybe their dog just
died - but a woman will NOT be offended just because you want to talk.
Oh,
she'll know you are trying to pick her up. She'll assume that just by
EYE CONTACT when you notice her, or the way you lean in near her, or
the way you are suddenly fascinated by the can of peas near where she's
standing.
You don't have to approach her for her to assume you're interested, you just have to notice her.
So,
the gig is up, your cover is blown by virtue of the fact that you're a
man. If you keep your mouth shut, all you're doing is telling her
you're a weak wussy-man with balls of jello that Hanz and Franz would
like to pummel until you piss jello ball juice the rest of your life.
Though not in so many words.
So what's a jello ball man to do to get balls that shoot lightening whenever they clank and rub their brass bravery together?
For
starters, you can stop worrying about all the bad things that you think
will happen. They won't. You have to basically TRY if you're going to
get slapped, and she's not going to call you out in front of your
friends.
About the WORST thing that can happen is she won't be interested in talking and will give you a chill reception.
And
that's about TEN times less likely than you getting some sort of
positive response. Even if she can't talk or isn't available for
whatever reason, she'll probably act sweet or appreciative anyway.
After all, you just paid her the compliment of ATTENTION. And almost everyone loves that.
If,
on the other hand, she IS available, and you manage to avoid saying
something insulting (trust me, it's not hard to avoid), you are VERY
likely to get a positive response.
If you say something INTERESTING, if you are PLAYFUL and RELAXED, then you are almost GUARANTEED to get her info.
But
on the first approach, that isn't even necessary. Just avoid saying
something like how you want to suck all the milk out of her, and you'll
do fine.
But on the first approach, that isn't even necessary. Just avoid
saying something like how you want to suck all the milk out of her, and
you'll do fine.
I know a guy who goes up to
women all the time and delivers some variant of "Hi, I'm practicing
talking to attractive women without being nervous. so how did I do?"
Usually that piques their interest. Because his nonverbal sexual cues
are so good, he gets the numbers of quite a few of them.
Sounds
unbelievable, doesn't it? All this time you thought there was a magic
key, but the truth is you can say almost anything to start a
conversation! More important is HOW you say it, WITHOUT NERVES.
So
now we come to homework time. Think about situations where you tend to
see attractive women. Now think of various things you can say to start
a conversation. Relaxed is best, and if you can mix some playfulness in
there, you should be golden.
For instance, back in the grocery store, you can make some comment
about the products on the shelves. If you can get a laugh or a smile
out of her, get her number or go out on a date with her right there.
It's that easy.
If you can't think of anything funny, you can always ask for advice. Especially if you need a WOMAN'S advice.
For
example, say you're in a clothing store and a lovely lady walks by. You
can say something like 'Excuse me, but I'm thinking of buying a shirt
to go out in this weekend, and I want to look GOOD. Which do you like?"
It's that easy.
In
fact, it's much easier than you'd believe. Women will give out their
info A LOT more easily than you'd imagine. This is true in basically
any situation, save funerals, unless you religiously believe in The
Wedding Crashers.
Really, the only thing you
need to do is get your confidence up and just TALK TO HER. So this
week, go out and talk to 10 girls. Once you've started you'll see how
easy it can be and want to talk to more, but consider your first 10
practice, just to get yourself conversing with them in a normal way.
The
more relaxed you are the better, so the more women you approach the
better you'll become (surprising, isn't it). Have a list of playful
openers read to go and memorized to get yourself started.
Of course, getting email and numbers is only the FIRST STEP, and doesn't guarantee you'll get where you want to go.