Okay, you're sitting with girl on your bed.
She's making out with your tongue, playing FIELD hockey with your tonsils.
You kiss her neck while you pass your palm over her breasts through her shirt and with the other hand stroke her thigh.
You slip one of your hands down her jeans and start massaging her lips with your fingers.
Then she speaks those pesky words you prayed you wouldn't hear.
"No. stop. we shouldn't be doing this." she says.
You feel that disappointing feeling of frustration. So close, and yet what do you do?
Most guys unfortunately either 1) stop moving forward, 2) start
begging for sex, or 3) start arguing with the girl as to why she should
continue.
With all three strategies however, you're playing with matches on a wooden boat.
Most likely they'll backfire and the ship will sink.
If
you stop moving forward with the hopes that you'll show her that you're
sensitive to her feelings and a swell guy, she may just come to the
conclusion that you're another "nice guy" who folded at the very first
sign of resistance - not very sexy.
In any case, if you stop she'll most likely pop out of state and you'll have a lot of backtracking to do.
If
you start begging like, "Please. girl. just let me take this bra off.
come on baby. please baby." you'll come across as needy and desperate
to get into her pants. Begging also engages the woman's neocortex which
is responsible for reasoning and critical judgment - and frames sexual
escalation into a yes/no choice for the woman.
In
other words, you're placing all the power of sexual escalation into the
woman's hands - specifically into the hands of her critical mind that's
responsible for acceptance or rejection - which is exactly where you
DON'T want the power to be.
For example,
imagine you're at a car dealership and you're on the fence about buying
this new car. You've just met the salesman that afternoon - so
naturally you don't know if he's completely trustworthy, even though he
may seem to be.
You hesitate whether you
should buy the car or not and suddenly the salesman starts pleading
with you to buy the car. He begs of you, "Come on. please buy this car.
do it for me. I really need this commission."
You're
not going to instantly feel sorry for him and buy the car. In fact, his
neediness will probably turn you off. You may even begin to start to
think of every reason NOT to buy the car.
Arguing
with a woman using rational reasoning too is simply a form of
sophisticated begging. For example, you might argue with a woman, "Yes.
but we've already known each other for two weeks. what's the big deal?
Sex is natural."
You MAY convince her to move
forward, but it's much more likely she'll simply react with counter
reasons to your reasons. Again, you're engaging her neocortex, the
critical, judging part of the woman's brain that looks for reasons to
stop. You're only feeding her resistance fuel to throw back at you.
Now,
if you have a girl isolated, sitting on your bed, and kissing you -
there's a 99% chance she *IS* willing to sleep with you.
However, a lot of women have intense emotional feelings when it comes to having sex with a new guy for the first time.
When
it comes down to the moment when she realizes that sex is inevitable -
or at least once she realizes she's become so turned on that if she
doesn't stop things NOW, she'll lose control over herself and surrender
to her urges - she'll attempt to put up a final resistance.
"No. this is happening so fast. please." she'll say.
Her
body and limbic brain responsible for lust and sex (also referred to as
the unconscious mind) is telling her to GO, but her neocortex (the
conscious mind), full of societal programming, is telling her to hold
out.
Christina Aguilera sums it up nicely in the song Genie in a Bottle - " My body's saying let's go. but my heart is saying no ."
However, the primal, older limbic brain will always win out over the thinking, rational, newer neocortex.
Her limbic brain telling her to have sex has the force of a tsunami
wave while the neocortex telling her to stop has the force of a
whisper.
So don't let a woman's final
resistance to sex phase you. Most of the time it can be overcome with
some simply strategies I'm about to show you.
Instead of stopping, begging, or arguing with a woman, follow these simple guidelines below.
First, SIMPLY IGNORE WHAT SHE'S SAYING AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Many times a woman will verbally say one thing , but with her body say something completely different .
She may say, "No please." verbally but give you no physical resistance
whatsoever. In fact, I had a girl telling me, "We shouldn't be doing
this," WHILE she was unfastening her bra!
So in many cases you can just IGNORE her token resistance and keep going. She crumbles in now time flat.
If
she keeps saying, "We shouldn't really be doing this." and you sense
the situation calls for you to say something, simply start talking
SEXY-DIRTY to her.
Her: "Oh god. we shouldn't be doing this."
You: "You're right. we shouldn't do this. it's so bad."
And keep going.
You
may have heard the advice "agree with what she's saying" before.
Indeed, agreeing with her disengages her logical, rational mind which
is the source of all mental resistance. After all, how can she argue
with someone who's agreeing with her?
But it's more than that.
Think of it as SEXY-DIRTY talk to get her WET and speak it like that -
with a husky, sex voice (for more on this subject look into my course Blissnosis).
If she continues to put up a more adamant resistance, especially if she uses physical resistance such as pulling your hand away, she is willing to sleep with you but you're moving TOO FAST for her.
Men need very little sexual stimulation to be ready for sex. But women require more time, and it varies from girl to girl.
Some
girls only need ten minutes of tongue to tongue make-out before they'll
feel comfortable enough for sex. Other girls need to have their bodies
touched and kissed all over for an hour before they'll feel comfortable
enough.
So her resistance is not a plea for you to stop entirely, but really a message for you to SLOW DOWN.
What she says: "This is moving so fast."
She
really means: "I like the feelings you're giving me. I want to do this.
but I need more kissing and cuddling first before I'm ready. Slow down
a little and we'll both get what we want."
In this case, you need to adopt the strategy of two steps forward, one step back .
If
you've been kissing her mouth, neck, and brushing over her nipples with
your palms, and she begins to give you heavy resistance when you touch
her pussy, simply BACK OFF from that area. Continue kissing her and
touching her breasts for another ten minutes. Give her more foreplay
time. This is the step back.
Then, once she's even hornier than before and more comfortable with your touch, step forward again . Touch her pussy. Most likely, she'll put up less resistance this time or none at all.
Back and forward, back and forward. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Of
course there are those girls whose neocortex gives more than a whisper
of resistance - they have so much negative mental programming about sex
(or they're so used to having men beg and plead for it) that all the
usual techniques fall flat and more extreme measures are needed.