I am often asked, “How will women know I am flirting with them?” Some readers even email me to say, “I flirt all the time, but women just don't know I am flirting.”

If you're one of these guys, the solution is not to flirt harder, it's to flirt better. Chances are, women don't know you're flirting because you're not using the right body language and voice tone. In other words, women don't know you're flirting with them because you're not really flirting.

You've got the words, but you haven't got the moves.

All right…let me ask you a question…how do you know your buddy isn't really trying to kill you when he mock-wrestles with you?

The answer is obvious. Even though he's grabbing you and pinning you down, he's probably smiling and not using all of his strength. But of course, you won't be thinking about any of that. You'll “just know” he's playing with you.

The same thing applies to flirting. Women will “just know” you're flirting with them provided you have the right voice tone and body language. For example, you may elongate your vowels and slow down your speech. Or you may have a naughty gleam in your eyes when you talk to a woman. Or you may move your body in a sensual way.

Here's the magic of flirting: As long as you have the right voice tone and body language, women will know you're playing with them and let you get away with saying or doing all sorts of crazy things. Under the right circumstances, they may even let you advance much further than they usually let other guys because she enjoys “playing” with you.