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 »  Home  »  Basics  »  Rejection and Dating  »  How ‘Down-Dating' Can Destroy Your Life
How ‘Down-Dating' Can Destroy Your Life
By Marius Panzarella | Published  05/23/2008 | Rejection and Dating | Rating:
Marius Panzarella
Marius Panzarella is the creator of Dating Secrets Revealed: The Smart Dating System he is recognized as one of the leading web dating coaches and has helped over 60,000 men lead better lives and success with women.
 
View all articles by Marius Panzarella

Today's article will be one of those “you may not like what I have to say but I'll say it anyway” kind of articles. I'm going to talk about “down-dating” and its potential side effects.

If you look around you, you will probably see many men who purposely date women who they PERCEIVE are of “lower status” than they are - be it in looks, wealth, education, and social status.

These guys like “down-dating” because they enjoy the feeling of “being in control” of a relationship. They enjoy the security of knowing that a woman won't want to leave the relationship because if she does, she won't be able to find a “better” man.

This gives these guys a huge ego boost.

There are also some very wealthy men who want to play “God” and “create” the perfect girlfriend from scratch, such as by helping a college student become a MODEL. (Yes…these cases actually exist! I've worked with a couple of such cases…)

While “down-dating” might be fun for awhile, in the long run it could destroy your life.

First of all, if you date a woman who's only interested in your wealth, looks, or social status, then you're breaking one of the most fundamental rules of the “Smart Dating System” - only date women with good character. By putting an emphasis on class and money, you run a higher risk of running into gold-diggers and social climbers. So don't whine if she leaves you for an even richer man.

Secondly, if the relationship turns south in a few years and the woman dumps you for whatever reason, it's REALLY going to hurt EXTRA since you've always thought of her as being inferior to you.

I've seen some very intelligent, well-educated, and successful men falling into depression because of this. One of my readers dropped out of medical school and lost all his confidence when an “inferior” woman that he had been dating finally said “screw you” and got out of his life. I've also seen guys turning from “player” to “wimp” when an “inferior” girlfriend that they were just “playing” ended up dumping them.

Do these guys deserve what they got? I think so. When you date a woman BECAUSE you think she's “lower” than you, then you DESERVE to be “double-hurt” when she leaves you. (Consider that a lesson!)

Listen. If you're going to sleep around, I am not going to say anything. (Just remember to use protection and to stay away from psycho women or dangerous situations.)

But if you're going to get into a RELATIONSHIP, then I URGE you to look for someone you actually RESPECT. If you think a woman is “not good enough” for you, it's going to create a power imbalance in the relationship. When you're in control, you won't REALLY be happy because you'll feel like you're “doing her a favor”. And when you lose control, you'll be EXTRA upset because it is not “supposed” to happen.

Of course…the biggest reason men opt for “down-dating” is because they don't feel they know how to get the girls they really want. They either do not have the confidence or the skills.

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