Today's article will be one of those “you may not like what I have
to say but I'll say it anyway” kind of articles. I'm going to talk
about “down-dating” and its potential side effects.
If
you look around you, you will probably see many men who purposely date
women who they PERCEIVE are of “lower status” than they are - be it in
looks, wealth, education, and social status.
These
guys like “down-dating” because they enjoy the feeling of “being in
control” of a relationship. They enjoy the security of knowing that a
woman won't want to leave the relationship because if she does, she
won't be able to find a “better” man.
This gives these guys a huge ego boost.
There
are also some very wealthy men who want to play “God” and “create” the
perfect girlfriend from scratch, such as by helping a college student
become a MODEL. (Yes…these cases actually exist! I've worked with a
couple of such cases…)
While “down-dating” might be fun for awhile, in the long run it could destroy your life.
First of all, if you date a woman who's only interested in your wealth, looks, or social status, then you're breaking one of the most fundamental rules of the “Smart Dating
System” - only date women with good character. By putting an emphasis
on class and money, you run a higher risk of running into gold-diggers
and social climbers. So don't whine if she leaves you for an even
richer man.
Secondly,
if the relationship turns south in a few years and the woman dumps you
for whatever reason, it's REALLY going to hurt EXTRA since you've
always thought of her as being inferior to you.
I've
seen some very intelligent, well-educated, and successful men falling
into depression because of this. One of my readers dropped out of
medical school and lost all his confidence when an “inferior” woman
that he had been dating finally said “screw you” and got out of his
life. I've also seen guys turning from “player” to “wimp” when an
“inferior” girlfriend that they were just “playing” ended up dumping
them.
Do these guys deserve what they got? I
think so. When you date a woman BECAUSE you think she's “lower” than
you, then you DESERVE to be “double-hurt” when she leaves you.
(Consider that a lesson!)
Listen. If you're
going to sleep around, I am not going to say anything. (Just remember
to use protection and to stay away from psycho women or dangerous
situations.)
But if you're going to get into
a RELATIONSHIP, then I URGE you to look for someone you actually
RESPECT. If you think a woman is “not good enough” for you, it's going
to create a power imbalance in the relationship. When you're in
control, you won't REALLY be happy because you'll feel like you're
“doing her a favor”. And when you lose control, you'll be EXTRA upset
because it is not “supposed” to happen.
Of course…the biggest reason men opt for “down-dating” is because they don't feel they know how to get the girls they really want. They either do not have the confidence or the skills.