They are saying that it's ok that a woman sees more
than a single guy. But when a guy dates more than a single woman he's
bad boy. Double standards or what!?
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I was sent an "article" (I use quotes because the value of this
information is in doubt) about men who "step out" on their women.
Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.
The woman's question to this - (COUGH) - "advisor" was "I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks."
Now
this advisor is a "VP of Romance" (Yeah, right) of a very popular
online dating site. (And since we all know that men don't know anything
about "romance," this advisor is a woman.)
She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are "philanderers and con artists."
Wow, strong words.
Well,
I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the "bad boy"
and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the
term "con artist" is out of bitterness. Some "bad boys" are just plain
criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold
to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary
romances, folks.
Bad boys are men that have the
right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but
some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term
commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because
there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.
Bad
boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits
that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad
boys are genuinely assholes.
I believe that
most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won't
nag or control us (and they don't WANT to do this, but most guys let
them, so they oblige.)
If we find a truly
amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we'd gladly trade in the
case of Trojans for a more established "relationship." And I hear about
these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get
obsessed with her and scare her off.
This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. - Date Other Women!
It
keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really
worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the
crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.
In
this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: "While you're
working on all this, don't stop dating. But do be a little choosier.
... Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the
first decent guy you meet, however."
Huh? So if
a guy dates around, he's a philanderer. He's a bad-boy and not
desirable. But she's saying it's okay for a woman to date several men
and that makes her "choosy."
WTF???
Welcome
to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It's okay for women to
date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be
watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see
if he passes her tests for true love.
Puh-lease.
I smell what you're cookin', honey, and I'm leaving the kitchen.
While
I'll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man
who "sleeps around" on women, he's pretty darn rare in this day and
age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a
society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual
harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the
new dating world.
It's only one guy in twenty
that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really
attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the
"player" lifestyle.
Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call "players"? And how many are really "bad boys"?
In
reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the
fact. If she couldn't keep him interested, he becomes a "player." If
all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn't stick
around, he was also a "bad boy."
Most guys I've seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:
1)
Up front that they're not looking to settle down with one woman yet
(which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and
2)
if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she's
getting into here. She's just happy to have found a guy who doesn't try
to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.
It's
time to realize that you're grown ups, ladies. You're adults. We're all
responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you
KNEW wasn't going to be a long-term commitment. He didn't manipulate or
trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball
dive in the deep end of a pool.
There's a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.
Gentlemen,
I'm not into Female Bashing, I'm into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the
things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN
again. This world we're in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have
an XY chromosome.
Being a man is cool,
Beavis... it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to
LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I'm a red blooded MAN.
Love
the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their
soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want
and need real MEN.
In this month's Playboy,
Christina Applegate says: "What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be
more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men - the
take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude."
Damn straight.
So
here's the deal: While it's generally accepted that women can date
around and be more "choosy," men have to deal with the universal stigma
that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke
of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more
than one woman, you might get labeled "bad boy."
But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.
Face
it: Women like "bad boys" because they know how to make women happy.
Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun
they give them in return. They're REAL men.
Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys! Always remember that women want what other women want.