Most likely you have some sort of goals in your life.
Goals
allow you to consciously prioritize your time and decide what do with
it. Since there's only so many days in your life, goals allow you to
focus in on what you desire most without getting sidetracked.
For example, if you have a clearly defined goal to become a physical trainer, you won't waste your time going to law school.
Likewise,
if you have a clearly defined goal to become a stand-up comedian,
you'll avoid spending your days learning computer programming.
It's
also important to have a goal as to what kind of RELATIONSHIPS you want
- so that you don't go flying blind into relationship situations that
don't make you happy.
The default relationship goal for most guys is to have a steady girlfriend and eventually get married - straight up monogamy .
Usually though, this isn't a conscious
choice of theirs - it's just what they accept and assume to be the
nature of reality because they've never been presented with any other
alternatives.
There's one small problem with monogamy however.
There's no scientific evidence that human beings are monogamous creatures!
Little
more than a few centuries ago, people were lucky to live beyond the age
of 40. Chances are either you or your mate would die from disease,
famine, or war at an early age. If you had 20 good years together with
your woman, you were lucky.
Now
we're living longer and longer, and yet expected to be monogamous for
decades longer than nature even intended us to be alive!
And there's plenty of scientific evidence that men are driven to "cheat" and spread their genes to as many women as they can.
Among
married couples, 40% of men and 20% of women report having cheated on
their spouse. And that's just the number of people who will admit it. And that's just for married couples. The rate may be even higher among boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.
Human
beings aren't unique though. Our closest animal relatives, bonobo
chimps, engage in what seems to be a nonstop sexual orgy. And of the
estimated 4,000 documented species of mammals, only about 5% are
documented as being truly monogamous. The other 95% of mammal species
cheat on their mates when given the chance.
You're probably familiar with what ends up happening in most monogamous relationships.
The man idealistically commits to monogamy with one woman.
.and ends up cheating behind her back.
He's forced to act deceitful, sneak around, and feel guilty about what he's doing.
If
he's lucky, he gets away with cheating and it doesn't bother his
conscience. If he's not so lucky, terrible embarrassment ensues at
getting caught, he loses half his assets in court, and the relationship
or marriage is torn apart - often with children paying the price.
Then there are other men, perhaps the type that read Seduction Science , who come to the realization that they don't have to accept the goal of monogamy.
They move to the opposite extreme.
They're aware of the limitations of monogamy, and like rebels overthrow the old traditions.
Their goal is to seduce and have sex with as many women as possible - with as little commitment as possible.
They sleep with any attractive woman they can get their hands on, only to immediately start working on their next opportunity.
Their relationship goal is to "be a player" or "be a pick-up artist".
The drawback with this goal of quick and repeated lays is that you end up lacking sexual and spiritual intimacy with women.
Either
you always have to have sex with a condom, or you put yourself at risk
to catch some nasty diseases and risk spreading them to the other women
you sleep with.
You miss out on all the feelings of pair-bonding with a woman, and
miss out on having a history of shared experiences with another human
being. You miss out on having a woman who is not only your lover, but
also your best friend.
After a while, a life without a primary partner can feel somewhat empty, no matter how much sex you're getting.
The Alternatives beyond Monogamy or Player
Staying committed to one woman, or seducing women as a matter of fun and sport are the two goals that most men have.
In the short-term , either of these goals may work.
But in the long-term ,
neither of these goals is a very practical strategy for achieving
lasting happiness. Either you'll eventually end up sneaking around and
cheating (the monogamist), or your life will lack emotional fulfillment
(the player).
However, you CAN experience pair-bonding and deep intimacy with a woman AND include sexual variety in your life.
In
fact, there are MANY relationship goals in between the right and left
extremes of straight-laced monogamy and unfettered promiscuity.
Conventional Monogamy:
Here
you find a girlfriend or wife for an exclusive, monogamous
relationship. The fact is however, most monogamous relationships don't
stay that way.
The Pick-up Artist or Player:
Nail
lots of girls, dumping the girl as soon as the next comes along in the
endless quest for sexual variety. Keep your emotional distance to avoid
commitment.
Primary Girlfriend as well as Secondaries:
This
is when you have a primary girlfriend to emotionally pair bond with,
yet you keep a few girls on the side for sex and fun. You also pick-up
other secondaries when the opportunities present themselves. Your
primary girlfriend is fully aware of what you're doing and accepts your
reality as part of the package of being with you. but emotionally, you
are monogamous with her.
Multiple Primary Girlfriends:
This
is when you have two or three primary girls to emotionally pair bond
with. You are building and nurturing long-lasting relationships with
multiple girls. They all know about each other, but generally you keep
the girls separate from each other.
The Harem Keeper:
This
is when you keep any combination of primaries and secondaries who all
know about each other AND engage in sexual play with one another. For
example, you might have two primary girlfriends or a primary girlfriend
and a secondary, and you all have threesomes.
The Swingers:
This
is when you have one primary girl to pair bond with, and the two of you
go to swinger's clubs and swinger's parties to meet other couples and
women. You and your woman are "partners in crime". All of the emotional
connection is with your primary woman, and the couples you meet are for
fun and sex only.
Threesome-Seeking Couple:
This
is when you and your primary girl that you emotionally pair bond with
go on the hunt to seduce other women for threesomes. You and your
primary read Seduction Science together. The women you seduce are for fun and play only, and your primary girlfriend isn't worried that you'll leave her.
Many men derive satisfaction in including their primary partner in
their sexual escapades; seducing women for threesomes as a couple, or
going to swinger clubs as a couple.
Other
men prefer to play the "puppet master" and pull all the strings of the
relationships; keeping a harem, or keeping a primary girlfriend while
seducing secondaries on their own,
Decide what goal is best for you.
Of course, if you still hold monogamy as your ideal and ultimate goal, there's nothing wrong with that - as long as you have consciously chosen that as your goal . Then do everything you can to make it happen.
And sometimes sleeping with a lot of women is not a bad goal if your main concern is to gain experience. If
you're a virgin, you may need to sleep with and experience a few women
to even decide what goal best suits you in the first place.
No
matter what relationship goal you choose, SET the FRAME early on with
women about the terms of the relationship and don't bend under
pressure. If your frame of reality is stronger than hers, most likely
she'll go along with you.
If a woman
stubbornly refuses to cooperate with your life's goals, save yourself a
lot of head-aches. Move on. Although there's a vast sea of every type
of woman out there, not every girl out there is for you.
Now what if you're already married ? What if you're already
in a monogamous relationship with a steady girlfriend? And what if,
presented with all the options, you wish you could have made a
different choice!
If you set the frame of the relationship right away from the very beginning, most women will go along with it.
But
if you're already six months or more into a monogamous relationship,
most women will feel emotionally threatened and betrayed if you suggest
to her that you're going to have a few flings with secondaries on the
side.
That's why I DON'T recommend that you
blurt out to your established monogamous partner about your dream to
build a harem of bi-sexual love bunnies.
Instead, INVOLVE your monogamous partner in setting a new frame for the relationship - gradually.
For
example, a good first step would be to take your monogamous partner to
a swinger's club. Just hang out at the dance floor where the action is
rated R instead of triple X. Put all of your attention on your partner.
The purpose is to get her comfortable with the idea of extracurricular
sex, and demonstrate to her that just because you see another woman's
naked boobs, you're not going to leave her.
Gradually your monogamous partner will come to realize that threesome sex and sex with other couples will not jeopardize your emotional connection with her .
This is very important. You must build that trust and comfort in her
that your emotional connection and pair bond with her will remain
monogamous. Then she'll relax.
Now, whichever relationship goal you choose, Seduction Science will
help get you there. Because whichever goal you choose, you need the
same skills of seduction whether it's in finding a string of casual
partners, or finding that one special woman, or finding a woman who in
turn will seduce other women for you.
The ultimately point being, have a clear goal of what kind of relationship you want . That
way you'll be able to hone in on exactly what you want without flying
blind, wasting time, or getting stuck in a situation you didn't want in
the first place.
Secondly, be up front with women about your relationship goals early on . Set the terms of the relationship, enforce them, and don't back down.
Otherwise, if you act wishy-washy and inconsistently about the deal,
SHE will set the terms of the relationship. This is called being
"pussy-whipped" and it's a hard pit to crawl out of.
(P.S.
just because you're in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean you are
"pussy-whipped" - provided that being in a monogamous relationship is
YOUR goal and is a frame actively being set by YOU)
Remember,
with this knowledge YOU are in control your own reality. You have the
power to build your dream life however YOU want.
And if you've already abdicated control to someone else, you can start taking it BACK.